Stock Market Rallies Gifts

The Return of Guarded Optimism

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

The president's men

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Build Your Own Portfolio

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Muscles

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Wall St. or True Love.

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'