Stock Market Prodigy T-Shirts

'The birds and bees I know about. I need to know more about the bulls and bears.'

'Looky here, Andrew! They're opening a NASDAQ Kids!'

"How come Jasper's mutual fund is up twelve per cent and mine's only up eight?"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'That's my boy...'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

'Today the market roared back on news that greed is good for an ailing economy.'

The church of our lady of wall street.

"Good news. Pork bellies just dropped four points."

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

'I have more money than I know what to do with. Any ideas?'

'I'd like to invest in some young companies.'

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

'I see you plan to grow by 50 a year!'

'One day son, all this will be theirs'.'

"I learned about the birds and the bees in school. Now tell me about the bulls and bears."

'Give it to me straight, Doc - just how long-term should my long-term investments be?'

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

Economic crisis.

'He's showing an interest in banking and finance.'

"There's a lot of volatility in the market right now. It's a really exciting time to be in graphs."

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

"You are now $15,000 richer. I found the online password to your brokerage account 20 traders ago."

"But it's helping me learn my math!"

'Is that the computer language you've been studying in school, dear?'