Stock Exchange Spectator Gifts

Investment Broker - "First the good news. Textiles are up, chemicals are up and electricals are up. The bad news is you don't have any."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

World Economic Crisis.

Economy - USA.

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Dow Jones drop

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'The good news is we've finally turned the corner. The bad news is, no government bailout.'

Chinese stock market

Jumping Wall Street.

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'