Stink Apologist Pillows

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

Pollution Look

'Don't believe everything you read.'

An archeologist uncovers a nasty stench in 'The Discovery of King TOOT-IN-COFFIN'.

Dog fetching slippers with a peg on his nose.

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

Woman throwing away smoking accessories

'Love means never having to issue an official apology.'

"Smack, nibble... look at all this garbage! People like to go for a walk in nature but the fill it with trash. They have no manners at all..."

'Luck I forgot my deodorant this morning.'

Support Our Apologists.

'This new cover scent says it makes you smell like a tree.'

PERFUMES, 'It's really just a sales gimmick, but we make everybody sign a waiver.'

The plastic straw-extended version

"You're too young to be smoking!"

'I get that a lot.'

"Don't call me at work. My gloves stink."

'Smoking or non?'

"Drinking one giant soda a day sounds healthier than drinking 6 sodas. At least I'm not dealing with all the guilt."

"I'm sorry, but someone has to put a stop to this endless cycle of apologizing."

"Live in 30 – and remember, it's just weather. You don't have to make excuses for it."

'Take that thing outside. As if we don't stink enough.'

Nobody told James that the five second rule didn't apply in their line of work,

Skunk Scent Killer

'All my senses are very acute.'

'Some smokers still resent no smoking signs. . .'

'Suppose smoking kills you and we don't have nine lives?'

"Last cigarette? Sorry we don't encourage smoking."