Scent Critics Pillows

Right, like you're the first shrink to recommend aromatherapy.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Aromatherapy for Men

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Overpowering perfume

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'

'Say what you like about the All Black scrum, but it's clearly the most fragrant and well groomed in the modern game.'

"Great Perfume!"

Dog fetching slippers with a peg on his nose.

"Why waste money on perfume when his favorite scent is stuffed pork chops?"

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

I miss that new planet smell.

Online articles are fine, but I miss being annoyed by the fragrance sample cards in print magazines.

"Mm, you smell terrif- ... no, wait. That's me."

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

"Sometimes, you have to stop and smell the roses, as well as the other flowers, and the bushes, and the trees, and the sidewalk, and the fire hydrant, and the trash on the side of the road..."

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

'Never mind what looks good... what smells good?'

'Cologne sir?'

I smell beer, Lance. You think that's fun? Try drinking some!