Scent Critics Pillows

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Aromatherapy for Men

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Overpowering perfume

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'

"Great Perfume!"

Dog fetching slippers with a peg on his nose.

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

"Why waste money on perfume when his favorite scent is stuffed pork chops?"

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

"Mm, you smell terrif- ... no, wait. That's me."

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

"Sometimes, you have to stop and smell the roses, as well as the other flowers, and the bushes, and the trees, and the sidewalk, and the fire hydrant, and the trash on the side of the road..."

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

"I don't understand, the advert said that that aftershave would have women falling over me!"

'Do you have a perfume that will make me smell thinner?'

'Cologne sir?'