Stethoscope Collector Pillows

'Really?You've NEVER been to a doctor in your life?'

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Teapot

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I wonder what this was for."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

'How old is this vase?'

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2

'I'm sorry Rex, but since getting this new stick for Christmas, I have no further need for you.'

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'