Stethoscope Seeker Pillows

'I don't know what happened! All I did was say I went into medicine for the money!'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

"I came up through the ranks."

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

Stonehenge Imitation

'I've learned that adding water to coffee only weakens the effect.'

"Sorry, that was the three cups of coffee, four cans of red bull, and double dose of Paxil talking."

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7.'

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

Brain Check

Rene Laennec

'Wow! What energy drink are you on?'

'They're stereo!'

Doctors' Tour

'You and your stones collection.'

Doctor monitoring his own heart attack.

"Please excuse him...interns always worry patients don't think they're real doctors!"

"Thumpety-Thump, Thumpety-Thump, …. Ka-Chunk, Ka-Chunk, Ka-Chunk,… Thumpety-Thump. Thumpety-Thump……"

"Great waves to day, dude!"

"Without my coffee, I'd never make it working nights."

'Is the 'living happily ever after' part just spin?'

Doctor.

"Could you teach me to do the splits?"

Salesman.

"No, I didn't have to 'google it' to make my diagnosis. I have these expensive books."

Job Centre: GP Wanted for Barnsley Surgery, 120 Hours Per Week, Basic Wage...