Stereotype Buffs Pillows

Rant schedule.

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"Say 'eh.'"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

Prejudice/Empathy

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

Macho Vegetarian

Latest Aye Phone

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

'When did he start stroking a white Persian cat?'

"I'm not just cleaning up - it's part of a conversation I'm having with Mum."

Disparate housewives.

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

"And what do you want to be when you grow up little girl, a nursie or mummy?" "Actually I'm torn between a career in hedge fund derivatives or setting up my own management consultancy."

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

Pikey and Chav.

"So that's Ireland."

"All I know is that one of them was raised by wolves, and the other was raised by geeks."

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

'How did you know his name was Fritz?'...

Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse

'Chief, do you swear not to speak with a forked tongue?'

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

24 Words for Melting Snow

'Honestly Fred, we're only here for the day trip.'

"You think you have it bad? I look like this and I don't know anything about technology."

"So we've got the cute Asian and they did the student that was the old out of shape ex military type?"

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

"Two months in France and Spain gave me the courage to smoke again."