Step Counter Skeptic Pillows

"Only 200 steps? But I've been chasing a buck all day long!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

Heart Health Levels

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"The bad news is I didn't get any food. The good news is I got my 100,000 steps in."

Weight Gain Denial

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"10,000 steps a day? I can do that."

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole my steps!"

Woman and scales.

'Would Sir like to smell the screw-top?'

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Please seat to be weighted.

'Your weight second opinion.'

'LIAR!'

Elevator is now equipped with stairclimber exercise machine.

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

'I've bought myself a pedometer: I want to see how much ground we cover during the annual migration...'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"Nurse, I'll be right back. My activity tracker says I've got to take a walk."

'My new fitness tracker counted 15,000...Unfortunately 14,900 of them were to the fridge and back!'

"Really should so some exercise. . . ."

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

"It's 10000 steps a DAY, not a YEAR!"

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

'You lie!'

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

"Want to know how many steps we took?"