Step-counting Skeptic Pillows

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole all my steps."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

"The bad news is I didn't get any food. The good news is I got my 100,000 steps in."

Heart Health Levels

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

"10,000 steps a day? I can do that."

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole my steps!"

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

"Better get a move on, only 1,314,000 steps till Christmas."

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

"Nurse, I'll be right back. My activity tracker says I've got to take a walk."

The 39 Steps

'I've bought myself a pedometer: I want to see how much ground we cover during the annual migration...'

'My new fitness tracker counted 15,000...Unfortunately 14,900 of them were to the fridge and back!'

"Really should so some exercise. . . ."

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

'That 'multiplication table' seems contrived to me!'

"Darn - zero steps again."

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

Could I go back and forth a few times first? I've almost got my steps in for today.

"It's 10000 steps a DAY, not a YEAR!"

"Want to know how many steps we took?"

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

"Forget 10,000 steps. I've programmed it to help me reach 10,000 dollars a day."

"When I said you should take a walk every day I didn't just need to see me!"

"I can give you a 93.4% assurance that there is less than a 65.6% possibility that this excercise will simply generate 34.8% more meaningless statistics."

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"The real torture is not being able to get my steps in."

Ok, ok, if that's what you need to meet your daily goal, we can do 21 paces instead.

"Don't you ever switch off from the 10,000 steps challenge Graham?"