Step Counter Skeptic T-Shirts

"Only 200 steps? But I've been chasing a buck all day long!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

Heart Health Levels

Weight Gain Denial

"The bad news is I didn't get any food. The good news is I got my 100,000 steps in."

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

"10,000 steps a day? I can do that."

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole my steps!"

'Would Sir like to smell the screw-top?'

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Please seat to be weighted.

Woman and scales.

'Your weight second opinion.'

'LIAR!'

Elevator is now equipped with stairclimber exercise machine.

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

The 39 Steps

"Nurse, I'll be right back. My activity tracker says I've got to take a walk."

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'I've bought myself a pedometer: I want to see how much ground we cover during the annual migration...'

'My new fitness tracker counted 15,000...Unfortunately 14,900 of them were to the fridge and back!'

"Really should so some exercise. . . ."

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

'You lie!'

"It's 10000 steps a DAY, not a YEAR!"

Could I go back and forth a few times first? I've almost got my steps in for today.

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'