Stem Cell Research Gifts

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

Bio-Genetic Research Lab. When I ask about cloning all I get is double-talk.

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

"Our war is against cancer."

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

Coronavirus Global Alert

Eureka!

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

Plant Parenthood...

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

"You've received a death sentence, Mr. Covid."

'Catch this!'

Clone Factory

"Always with the cancer cures, this one."

'Hey - It says here, we're related!'

Lyme Disease Research Lab

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

Single-cellphones...

'Office of P.G.Barley and Clones'

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

"I feel it's only fair to warn you, Dr. Thompson, that watching cell division can be quite stimulating!"

Biomedical Conference. To incentivize advances in medical science, more cures and fewer diseases should be named after people.

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

California fires and Coronavirus

'These are preliminary results, but there seems to be a correlation between global warming and baby boomer women's hot flashes.'

'He's one of those genetically-altered antibodies.'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

Now this is Dr. Brainstorm, he's trying to breed a moth that will eat synthetics.

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

Laboratory mouse in a maze with directions.