Steering Wheel Strategist Pillows

"So, once again, Mrs Smith, it's grab handle, grip firmly, and pull straight towards you..."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

Sweep the board.

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

Board Game Hunter

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'I can not get this game, the pieces all move like cats.'

"Before we start, does anyone fancy a bet on the outcome?"

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

Gaah! You sank my longship!

Confused drivers

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

'Amazing, Holmes! That's the eighth time in a row you've gotten the 'dud'!'

Competitive tic-tac-toe

"Sometimes we all feel like we've been tossed. You just have to roll with it."

Battleship Bingo Night.

Electronic Abacus

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

'That's the bell for round two.'

Chess on TV

'It's not cheating...My king is Henry VIII.'

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters...that'll be £15,000.'

'Computer editing software with an obnoxious ego.' 'Look, you really don't want to say that, do you?'

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

Backtrack! A game of political undoing