Steering Wheel Strategist Gifts

"So, once again, Mrs Smith, it's grab handle, grip firmly, and pull straight towards you..."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

Sweep the board.

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"Before we start, does anyone fancy a bet on the outcome?"

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'I can not get this game, the pieces all move like cats.'

Gaah! You sank my longship!

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

Confused drivers

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

"Sometimes we all feel like we've been tossed. You just have to roll with it."

Competitive tic-tac-toe

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

'It's not cheating...My king is Henry VIII.'

How judicious you are/How thin you spread it

Electronic Abacus

'Computer editing software with an obnoxious ego.' 'Look, you really don't want to say that, do you?'

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters...that'll be £15,000.'

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

Backtrack! A game of political undoing

'That's the bell for round two.'

Chess on TV