Steel Affectionado Gifts

Metal Defective.

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Uh-oh - climate change."

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'So he eats the odd secretary now and then. He's our top actuary and I intend to make him a partner.'

'A corsage! How sweet of you!! It's delicious!!! '

Alderman shocked at a proposal to pull down Temple Bar

Eating raw cake mix.

'I need work on my core.'

'Your Dad phoned earlier and told me that this is how he wanted it fixed.'

"I've just been gazumped!"

'The time to really worry is when credit's not even crunchy!'

"I guess I thought 'Andy and the blenders' was a band."

Best guess, nuclear war or the French football camp!

'I was going for gold, but I'm afraid all I could manage was bronze!'

Cow looks confused at his toilet Christmas present.

No, Ernie, a promise to not prosecute any cattle would not provide the type of herd immunity they're talking about.

Come back, sir! "Leave room for cream" was a question, not directions.

Door to law firm.

"We go to Stockholm, we accept our, prize, and then I never want to see your ugly mug again!"

The Ethel Mormon Tabernacle Choir

'I once had a dashboard covered with junk like that and the window broke from the stress.'

He believes an apiary should be run with strict discipline. So it behooves the beehive to behave!

A hunter missing his target

"Your new band is called Screaming Asterisk? Where'd you come up with that?"

Grounds keeper waiting with a brush for the last leaf to fall from a tree

Dachshunds chasing Weinermobile.

Ballerinas knickers falling down.

"If you have a short fuse, this job isn't for you."

Information Manager

"Watch the fingerprints, Madge. It's my new car remember ."

I recently read "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up". It's changed my life, minion. Pay attention. May involve me. The reason a lot of us never have a truly clean house is, we settle. Settlers. Pilgrims. Turkey. Our clothes, for instance. Our closets are full of stuff we're just ok with. What we should do is take everything out, lay it all on the bed, go through it ... and anything we have to think about keeping, we toss. Floss. The only things you should keep in your closet are the ones that