Cow Affectionado Gifts

No, Ernie, a promise to not prosecute any cattle would not provide the type of herd immunity they're talking about.

Cow looks confused at his toilet Christmas present.

'I was going for gold, but I'm afraid all I could manage was bronze!'

Best guess, nuclear war or the French football camp!

Love a Mutt

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

'All cats have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a cat.'

'I know he followed you home but you can't keep him.'

"Uh-oh - climate change."

'Well, migration is just a change of scenery really, as all our friends and family come too...'

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

'So he eats the odd secretary now and then. He's our top actuary and I intend to make him a partner.'

'A corsage! How sweet of you!! It's delicious!!! '

Two cats making a heart shape with their tails

Alderman shocked at a proposal to pull down Temple Bar

"On the other hand, his bedside manner is impeccable."

Eating raw cake mix.

The balance of power shifted when sparky figured out how to use the laser pointer.

'Made your point.'

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

"I've just been gazumped!"

'Your Dad phoned earlier and told me that this is how he wanted it fixed.'

'My cat is very unpredictable. I never know when he's going to ignore me.'

It's so nice to meet someone with a porpoise in life.

'It's not laziness, its stress management.'

'According to this book, goldfish have a 3 second memory...'

'The time to really worry is when credit's not even crunchy!'

'Treason!'

Dogs With Balloons Tied to Ears

"Puppy love."

"We go to Stockholm, we accept our, prize, and then I never want to see your ugly mug again!"

Metal Defective.

'My yellow rabbits, I bring you... DRESSING!'