Staycation Planner Pillows

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

"It looks brighter over there!"

Couch and Potato

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"Every summer I regret having used up all my vacation days in January."

"Make a note, Ellen—one Speedo, size 54."

"Check our website sir. It clearly says bed in breakfast."

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"Are there sharks in the water?"

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

A gondolier clears leaves form a pool

"I predict six more weeks of winter...But I'm sure we'll tough it out."

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

"I visited the beach on Google Earth. Next time I'll wear sunscreen."

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

Working holiday.