Staycation Planner Gifts

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

"It looks brighter over there!"

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

Couch and Potato

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

Superman Going On Vacation.

Only two months since school started. How long do you get off for summer break, Rudy? Oh, months and months. Just to kick back, sleep in late, have a great time with zero responsibility. Waaaa. Introduction to sarcasm. And I get tons of recess.

"Every summer I regret having used up all my vacation days in January."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"Make a note, Ellen—one Speedo, size 54."

"Check our website sir. It clearly says bed in breakfast."

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"Heads-up, the tourists are coming."

"Are there sharks in the water?"

Travel Agency. We can afford far, and we can afford wide, but we can't afford both.

That's my summer place.

A gondolier clears leaves form a pool

"I predict six more weeks of winter...But I'm sure we'll tough it out."

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

Working holiday.