Stay-young Enthusiast Gifts

'It makes you look younger.'

Do you think I'm sixty?

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Elderly People

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

The end of innocence

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

'-and what makes YOU so sure my missus is waiting up for me?'

'Mom, I think it's time I graduated to a full size horse.'

We're very disappointed. We thought the nanny had raised you better than this.

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

"That's just the meds kicking in."

She IS a raisin

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

"Hi, this is Bill Gates. Time to buy some new software."

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

"My mom and dad are still very sharp."

"We begin tonight with breaking news. LIFE has given a local teenager a rude awakening."

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

'I've decided to stay in bed till lunchtime to see if I feel like a teenager again.'

"Of course I'm young at heart...I had one of my wrinkles pierced, didn't I?"

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

"You look amazing Dad. Has Mrs Arnold been ironing your face again?"

Getting older isn't the same as growing up.

"For my bat mitzvah, my dad is getting me incorporated."

Born into the 21st century.

"I can't make you look younger, but I can make you look like you've had a lot of expensive plastic surgery."

"I'm not actually 40 this year but that's the birthday I celebrate every year."

Is that a … um … never mind. Forget I said anything. What? Nothing. It must've just been a trick of the light. Or maybe a stray hair. It certainly couldn't be the faint imprint of a wrinkle beside you eyes. My life is over. On the bright side, maybe a web of wrinkles lining your face will make you look less dopey.