Eternal Youth Enthusiast Gifts

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

Wordilly Durdillies - Hey dad! Why have you aged 45 years?

"I really am young at heart: I got a 34 year old's in a transplant."

Elderly People

"Ideally, I'd like a reboot to 'factory settings'."

"The secret of my longevity? I switched from Botox to styrofoam injections months ago!"

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"Well we did say that the surgery would give you the body of a teenager!"

"Wow! I pray I look that good at sixty."

"Your mother's trying to become wrinkle-free."

"Of course 50 is the new 49!"

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'Let me guess - you're looking for the course 'How to grow old with dignity'.'

Is that a … um … never mind. Forget I said anything. What? Nothing. It must've just been a trick of the light. Or maybe a stray hair. It certainly couldn't be the faint imprint of a wrinkle beside you eyes. My life is over. On the bright side, maybe a web of wrinkles lining your face will make you look less dopey.

Do you think I'm sixty?

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Botox."

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"They grow up so slow."

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'

"MOM! Connor got all tangled up in his keychain lanyard again!"

'Of course I remember you-Tomkins,the Peter Pan of the Lower 4th!'