Eternal Youth Fan Gifts

Four Stages of Boyhood

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

Elderly People

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

The Grim Rapper

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

"They grow up so slow."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

'Of course I remember you-Tomkins,the Peter Pan of the Lower 4th!'

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

"I was pushing fifty and then it sneaked up behind me."

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

"In layman's terms, I just rewound your biological clock."