Stay-at-home Detective T-Shirts

"Cody's friends want to talk to us. They think the home-schooling is making him peculiar."

A boy acting suspiciously

"So that's where you were last night."

Mou...Man trap!

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

Clive couldn't work out who was stealing office equipment...

A spy

Those missing socks...where do they go?

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'As all coherent strategy has failed, we turn to you.'

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

'That isn't true Mrs. Jones, I can find my ass with both hands. And if you want me to prove it, it'll be $150.00 a day, plus expenses.'

'I had laser eye surgery and I still can't find the remote.'

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

'You're free to go. Another suspect matching the description of having big ears and a trunk has just been arrested for the circus stampede.'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

Moby the Private Dick.

Violence on TV.

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

'Fingerprints on your laptop screen?... wow, that's a real mystery.'

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

'Did you see who pushed you?'

"There's food in the fridge, and clues about the state of our marriage all around the house."

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'

Man and woman being spied on from their TV.

Closing Laugh Mystery Publications

Top Secret

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

'In another universe parallel to our own.'

'Believe me, they never know they're being tailed. We use a drone.'

Old lady spying on the neighbours using a webcam.