Stay-at-home Connoisseur Gifts

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

"There goes our early night."

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"So, it's decided, the party will be on the tenth and BYO drinks as usual..."

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

'Hold all my calls - and get dressed. I hate being reminded I work from home.'

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"I'm a stay-at-home mom without kids."

Five Stages of Lockdown

"When's the TV due back from the workshop?"

"Since she started working from home I prefer going to the office."

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

'When, son, do you plan to leave your mother and father and cleave unto another?'

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

Heavenly Gates: Masks Required

"Working remotely is great. My coworker is adorable, and my pantry has never been so organized."

"Can you recommend any wines for the middle class?"

'Hello? Yes, do you do student removals?'

'Slow down - you'll live longer,'

'I'm sure I've forgotten to do something today. Let's see now...I've taken four coffee breaks, I did the crossword puzzle...I took a long lunch...'

"Nah, his staying in all day has nothing to do with that virus. My Dad's a writer, He's been in self-quarantine since 2003."

"Relax! It's NOT a heart attack! The owner's manual says to expect intense panic during the unpacking stage, as you wonder how in the world you're going to pay for yet another totally impulsive purchase. It should pass in a day or so!"

Music Hater.