Stay-at-home Connoisseur Gifts

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

"There goes our early night."

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"So, it's decided, the party will be on the tenth and BYO drinks as usual..."

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

'Hold all my calls - and get dressed. I hate being reminded I work from home.'

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

"Why do you always have to be so judgemental?"

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"I'm a stay-at-home mom without kids."

Five Stages of Lockdown

'When, son, do you plan to leave your mother and father and cleave unto another?'

"When's the TV due back from the workshop?"

"Since she started working from home I prefer going to the office."

Yeah, last words are like snappy comeback --- You always think of the best ones after it's too late!

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

Rarely leaving the house and working just steps away from my refrigerator has expanded my waistline. A homebody!

We never go out anymore.

Heavenly Gates: Masks Required

"Working remotely is great. My coworker is adorable, and my pantry has never been so organized."

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

'Slow down - you'll live longer,'

"Can you recommend any wines for the middle class?"

'Hello? Yes, do you do student removals?'

'I'm sure I've forgotten to do something today. Let's see now...I've taken four coffee breaks, I did the crossword puzzle...I took a long lunch...'

"Man, this telemedicine thing is great -- I don't even have to put my pants on!"

"Nah, his staying in all day has nothing to do with that virus. My Dad's a writer, He's been in self-quarantine since 2003."

Music Hater.