Statue Conversationalist Pillows

Greek in gallery with Greek statues

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

A lesson in wit

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'Dog got your clog?'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

'Back in 1956 you were the youngest Briton to cover the Hungarian uprising. You are presently writing your memoirs in Sardinia. First question: how do you feel about the sorry state the London Underground is in?'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

Bla Bla Bla

'He was too chatty. I don't like small talk. Too much gibber, not enough jabber.'

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

"I just wanted you to hear it from me first, before you read it in the sky."

'How are you keeping?'

'I'll tell you my subtext, if you tell me yours.'

'...I said, well now that they've reached saturation point at least they're not making so many...'