Statue Conversationalist Gifts

Greek in gallery with Greek statues

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

So, what brings you two here today? Amanda Kern. Comics counseling.

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'Dog got your clog?'

A lesson in wit

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'Back in 1956 you were the youngest Briton to cover the Hungarian uprising. You are presently writing your memoirs in Sardinia. First question: how do you feel about the sorry state the London Underground is in?'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

Bla Bla Bla

'...I said, well now that they've reached saturation point at least they're not making so many...'

'I'll tell you my subtext, if you tell me yours.'

'How are you keeping?'

"I just wanted you to hear it from me first, before you read it in the sky."

"Of course we've already had this conversation. There isn't a conversation we haven't already had."