Statin Savant T-Shirts

Vending machines labeled 'SNACKS' and 'STATINS.'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

The wonderful world of cheese.

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

"In an unexpected development, the market behaved rationally today."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

Company Share Price - "The god news is we've become a very attractive takeover target, sir."

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

'Now might be a good time to interject the GOOD news to the stockholders!'

Man climbing line chart, planting profit flag.

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

'Sometimes I think the market is trying to tell us something, Ferguson...'

Piggy Bank ATM

Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush

"House red, sir?"

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

Justice for a heckler.

Wall Street Red Ink.

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'