Starting To Date Pillows

"Cute... But way too young."

"Once again, Dave blew the date when his instincts got the better of his etiquette."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Preparing for Dating Opportunities in 2020

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

So are you from a good family?

"Last night's blind date was amazing! He's a husky: he has blue eyes!"

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."

"I'm a very nice guy. If I had friends, you could ask them."

"Beat it buster! I only fancy bad boys."

"My sister won't be long she's just applying her disguise."

'Madge, at the cake shop, has got herself a fancy man!'

'It's very nice to meet you, but I prefer to remain anonymous.'

Night Club - "You're Mr. Right? Are you sure?!"

Dating Agency "I'm just looking for anybody who won't be physically sick every time we have sex"

Blind date rule number 1...always request a full body shot

"Not on a first date! That's fine by me, I've been on lots of dates."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

Paradise Singles Bar.

Nethead strip: Dates

'You want to take our relationship a bit slower How about we only sms once a day'

"It sure is nice talking to you. It seems that everyone I meet these days has a chip on his shoulder." "On his shoulder? I assume you are talking about males."

"I'll go out with you, as long as we don't have to go IN anywhere."

"Who wants to go to the park and find me a date?"

"Boys meet the girls. Girls meet the boys. . ."

I'm looking at photos of potential dates here. Your "screening" process.

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

Speed Dating. Ernie likes speed dating because the date's duration has a guaranteed minimum.

"Every time I start to get close to a woman an alarm goes off in my head."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"