Starting Orthodontic Treatment Gifts

"Have you ever considered getting braces?"

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Licensed Therapist

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"Postwar is hell."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Window Treatment

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

Shark with Braces.

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"You must learn to let go."

Identity Crisis Support Group

"Let's take it again from the top...but this time with more fillings."

"That explains all the cavities."

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"