Starting Orthodontic Treatment Gifts

"Have you ever considered getting braces?"

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Licensed Therapist

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"Postwar is hell."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

Window Treatment

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

Shark with Braces.

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

"You must learn to let go."

"Let's take it again from the top...but this time with more fillings."

"That explains all the cavities."

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

It's A Breeze