Orthodontic Adventure Seeker Gifts

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

The Hobby Store

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Picks your own strawberries....Strangle your own turkeys

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

'I told you to keep your rice in a plastic bag.'

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily..."

"Nothing feels better after a long day's hunting than a nice, long soak in the hot-wheel."

Cow Pilot.

'Now that's what I call a rescue dog.'

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

"Up here! Beef jerky, trail mix, energy bars!"

"Skunk! How is it?"

"This weather changes in a heart-beat! I moved here last year and am never sure how to dress!"

'Tut. Now I suppose we'll have to hear all about her holiday!'

"Sorry, dude. You've been voted out of the pack!"

I suppose this probably counts as an adverse event.

"They say two feet of snow came down last night!"

I don't have the keys.

"I'm going to do some gardening.Have you seen my ear protectors?"

'Do you realize this is the third time we've packed up and moved to Canada?'

"We definitely weren't that happy on our way up."

'I got to sit down. I feel a pain in my lower back coming on.'

"Hey, look...Reverend Brown is here too!"

Leave Only Footprints, Take Only Photos.

"I used to have buck teeth. Now I have 5,000-buck teeth."

Snowmen

'Why the seat belt.' Restraining patient.

'Baby's teething.'

"I'm not cooking that thing!"

'It's to protect me from the splattering. Now open wide.'