Starting An Art Collection T-Shirts

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

"The moment I saw this, my soul cried out that it could triple in value."

'Our first and only painting cost us $3.5 million!'

Misunderstood artist

"This painting will make you so famous that you won't be able to walk down the street without being recognised."

Great Chinese Dynasties

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Paul Klee

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Use your imagination.

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Needs to get a life"

Wagging Dog

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

Madame Rejane- Famous French Actress in the Part of Madame Sans Gene

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Cock A Doodle

Giant Monster in Bath

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

Slinky Cow World

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

"It's an Eyesaur."

Creation of Red Wine

"Now this I get."

"Got any bathtub gin?"