Starting A Writing Career Gifts

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Napkin Writer

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

"I know this book I'm writing will be on the Best Sellers list. . . I'm reaching for the sky!"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

Writers without borders.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

Day one, post grad

'We offer full benefits. A desk, a chair and your very own cubicle.'

Meet the author

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

'Your marriage to your job has just been annulled.'

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

"The narrative seems contrived."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

3:00 pm - Meet the author

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

"Writing that book was a real strain."

'An internship is pretty much the only way to get your foot in the door these days...'

"His prose is so muscular."

PERSONNEL, 'Do we have a health plan? Why -- Don't you feel well?'

"I was just like you, then I hired a life coach. Now look at me!"