Starting A Plant-based Lifestyle Gifts

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"States of tofu"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Steamed vegetables."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Before/After

See you at the farmers market!

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"You had me at alternative milk."

Save our Planet.

"It's a hybrid!"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Wine is plant-based food."

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

The vegan hunter

Fruit and Vegetables - protestors signs read 'Stop this brutality' and 'Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants'.

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

At One With Nature

"Since we're off the grid, Madge does the cooking over a bonfire."

The Last Dinner

The It Tastes Like Cr*p Because Its Healthy Cafe

"It's not addicting, all natural, recycled and plant-based...it's cud!"

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"