Starting A Hotel Business T-Shirts

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'Now here's a place I like!'

"This is our soft opening."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

Garlic Free Zone.

"Fresh pepper spray?"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

Local food for local consumption

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

'Cooking'

Birds talking about package holiday makers - "Amazing how they find there way back every year."

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Kentucky Fried Horse

"Sir, we serve pancakes 297 ways. We don't do plain toast."

The Suite Hereafter

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."