Starting A Job In Hospitality T-Shirts

" ....you didn't say wanted one that worked."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Cardiac Recovery.

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

Prawn Cocktail Please

"Valet park only"

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

The Suite Hereafter

The American Tearoom, Moscow

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

Mini Bar

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."