Starting A Gym Business Pillows

"You don't have to sell the farm. There are people who will pay money to lift and carry big tires."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"This feels like an accomplishment."

"We're exclusively delts."

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Exercise Bars

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

Joint Ventures!

'My cellulite is getting stronger.'

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

To-Let Town Centre Map

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

Eager to get back out but want to limit your exposure? Come to Barry's barbershop, restaurant, gym 'n cinema.

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

'Will I still be married?'

Macho man body building club.

Easy chair exercise machines

"Do you have a motorized one?"

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.