Starting A Gym Business Pillows

"You don't have to sell the farm. There are people who will pay money to lift and carry big tires."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"This feels like an accomplishment."

"We're exclusively delts."

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

No caption (A man running on a treadmill hands a relay baton to a man on the treadmill in front of him).

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Exercise Bars

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

Gym. You lost a pound this week? It's only because I always leave here too tired to go looking for it!

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

Gym. Weight Room. This must be sculpting my body --- All my muscles feel like putty.

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Frank & Ernie's Health and Fitness Equipment for Elite Athletes. Our first delivery is there free weights we're taking to a golfer. He'll be working on his irons! This is going to a swimmer. A massage table for back strokes! A pro snowboarder bought this hyperbaric chamber. He wants to get big air! And we'll finish by taking the treadmill to a baseball player's basement gym. Of course ... for the home runs!

Joint Ventures!

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

'My cellulite is getting stronger.'

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

To-Let Town Centre Map

Eager to get back out but want to limit your exposure? Come to Barry's barbershop, restaurant, gym 'n cinema.

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

'Will I still be married?'

Gym. I don't need to exercise --- I have an ab crunch on my smart phone!

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

Macho man body building club.

Easy chair exercise machines

"Do you have a motorized one?"