Starting A Gluten-free Diet Pillows

"In my dreams I still eat gluten..."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

Garlic Free Zone.

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

Modern Witch Shoppe

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'This scale is gaining weight!'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

Attack of the 'health' foods

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

Hip Hop Physician: 'Put a halt on salt and cut back on fat. Are you down with that?'

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'