Stargazing Jokesters T-Shirts

"If you squint, you can see Uranus!"

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"Not now, Oliver."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

Standings: Milky Way Conference

Cosmonaughty

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

The First Man to Ride the Moon

Black Hole Corks

Serious business

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

"Ohhh! Now I get it!"

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

Chalk Bored

"Houston....I've found the 'Plank Constant'."

Stand up comedians from outer space.

New Planets

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"