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"So what do you do for a living?"

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Back to school.

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Driverless cars rage.

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Sitting in a tree

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Valentine Day

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."