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"I prefer Meryl Streep not having fun."

'Is somebody here implying that I was not really sick?' (Best Actor award on his desk.)

"What's my motivation?"

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"Granted, there's no business like show business, but that's not the business I know."

"No, no, no! I'm sure such over-acting wowed them at the Nebraska Hamburger Theatre, but you're in the big leagues now, Bob."

"... And of course, because he's only a 'D-list celebrity' you'll get him much cheaper."

Farcebook website

"Remember, you're a 17-year old fashion model. Now go out and act like you've never acted before."

'I knew you were going to say that.'

Sir John Gielgud.

'It's a Drama right? I would be great for the part: I can cry on command!'

'Please hold any incoming personal calls for me. I need to disappear into character for a while!'

Richard Burton

Daniel Day Lewis

"Police believe the gunman acted alone. True. My client's an actor and believed he was auditioning for a part."

The Director at Intermission

Casualty

Sofia Vergara

'You're always bragging about what a good actor you are, so why don't you act your age?!'

'He has a flair for the dramatic when I ask him to play dead.'

"You, Adam, are not acting like the first men. Remember, there's no precedent!"

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

Missing: my agent

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

Joan Hickson

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"It's a play on words."