Fine Aficionado T-Shirts

'Did you drop this £20 note, Sir?' 'Ooh, YES!' 'That will be a £50 fine.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

Driverless cars rage.

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Sitting in a tree

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

Beer Stall

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

Happy thoughts

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."