Stanley Cup Playoffs Gifts

The Leafs win the Cup!

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Hockey Season.

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

The Hockey World

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'The good news is that we're making huge profits - the bad news is that we won't be getting a bailout.'

A woman watches football on her computer.

A boy with a camera

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Light RELIEF for England . . . PHEW!

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

Where the Deer and the Antelope Play...

Zdeno Chara

The Hockey Puckey

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'His wife is very supportive.'

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."