Stand-up Lover T-Shirts

The young Don Rickles

Zombie stand up

Well he was good - he really blew the roof off the place!

Charles Darwin, stand-up comic

The First Hecklers

Stand-up Romcom

Applause

TV jester.

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

'Let's go to a bar and do something funny.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

Mensa Does Improv

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

"You've tested positive for being awesome. Just kidding - it was negative."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'We had to donwsize.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'Never forget, Sweetheart, it's my low comedy that keeps you in high fashion!'

Chris O'Dowd

"I'll now take some rambling, nonsensical statements from the audience."

Performance In The Bedroom

TV stage door

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'