Stand-up Economist Pillows

'We'll give you the loan if you agree to wear this tracking device until the loan is repaid.'

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Made in China

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'The recession is over, again.'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

"He's gonna be in and out for a while, so we should write something funny on his forehead."

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

Yes, they are all dependants."

Money god

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

The Euro - R.I.P.

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'Wait a minute....!

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

'Sorry, folks! The CEO and Board of Directors didn't show up.'

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Investments.

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

Euro Bait

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

'You wouldn't threaten your bank manager...er...maybe...'