Stalagmite State Trooper T-Shirts

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

"Gesundheit!"

Speed Limit Enforced from Aircraft.

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

'Since we initiated regular staff development sessions, we've turned the school around 360 degrees.'

"Good news, Mrs. Jennings! The lump in your throat isn't cancer, it's from watching a lot of sad movies."

"She already spent summers in New York City without A/C."

"'Holy cow... She can't spell for #!@*. Is that a 'T' or an 'L'? This entire letter is a grammatical nightmare!"

'Don't use that arm... for a day or two!'

Astronomical observations.

"That summit Johnson! Our goal is the summit!"

"What's the rush? He'll still be dead when you get there."

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir, my mistake. That sign was meant for someone with a less expensive car."

'It's my birthday. I'm giving a free cup of coffee to everyone that gets a ticket.'

Speed Limit Enforced by Slow Aircraft

Clown car full of policemen

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Shall I put you down for a state trooper cap, T-shirt, or coffee mug?"

'The show must go on!'

Deja Viewer

"It's challenging coming back in after working from home."

Flight Departures

A cave explorer stares at a stalactite copy of himself

'Transtalactites!'

"State bird?" "Eastern goldfinch!" "State flower?" "Purple violet!" "Ok! Go on!"