Stair Lift Satirist Pillows

Old woman on a stair lift to Heaven

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

The return of Miss Subways

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

Targeted Advertising

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Abandon Personal Space All Ye Who Enter Here

Executive Elevator: Up Only

Man on the way to Heaven worries about steps.

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

Cops on trains: 'Is that a truncheon, or are you just pleased to see me?'

Family living in an allevator

"It's god's little get-back.... She had special haloes made for those who never put down the toilet seat."

"50p or I sing that high bit of Bridge over troubled water"

'These elevators are slow, but it sure beats flying.'

'The brakes aren't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...The escalator isn't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...why don't you walk up?'

The Privatization of the MTA.

A Cow Funeral.

"Showoff" - Bald man envies punk.

Political Polls, Inc: (Elevator): 'Up. Down, Undecided/don't know'

"I guess this is me."

"Oh, no! How are we going to divide this space by seven?"

Superdome: Now Playing Har Bowl.

Stressed Concrete

"Sorry, Ma'am. Down only."

'You don't actually believe you are going to catch a train?!'

"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."

'We still can't afford to modernize the visitors dugout.'

Elevator button for bar & grill.

Public Transport: Hell

"I continue to wear a mask as a courtesy to you. My wife says I have terrible breath."

Rail PLC - 'We're investing in bottlenecks.'

"I'm changing at 42nd street."

We are being held momentarily to annoy Karen's girlfriend, who's been waiting at the restaurant for, like, twenty minutes.