Stair Lift Satirist T-Shirts

Old woman on a stair lift to Heaven

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

The return of Miss Subways

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

Targeted Advertising

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Abandon Personal Space All Ye Who Enter Here

Closed. He was unable to complete the elevator repair today -- Further steps will need to be taken.

Executive Elevator: Up Only

Man on the way to Heaven worries about steps.

"It's god's little get-back.... She had special haloes made for those who never put down the toilet seat."

Cops on trains: 'Is that a truncheon, or are you just pleased to see me?'

Family living in an allevator

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

"50p or I sing that high bit of Bridge over troubled water"

'These elevators are slow, but it sure beats flying.'

'The brakes aren't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...The escalator isn't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...why don't you walk up?'

The Privatization of the MTA.

A Cow Funeral.

"Showoff" - Bald man envies punk.

Political Polls, Inc: (Elevator): 'Up. Down, Undecided/don't know'

"I guess this is me."

"Oh, no! How are we going to divide this space by seven?"

'You don't actually believe you are going to catch a train?!'

'We still can't afford to modernize the visitors dugout.'

"Sorry, Ma'am. Down only."

Rail PLC - 'We're investing in bottlenecks.'

"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."

Superdome: Now Playing Har Bowl.

Elevator button for bar & grill.

Public Transport: Hell

Stressed Concrete

"I continue to wear a mask as a courtesy to you. My wife says I have terrible breath."

"I'm changing at 42nd street."