Stained Glass Appreciation Gifts

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

"Collections were down. We had to get creative."

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

"I wanted to make it look like the ones at church."

"Did you order a starter?"

Base chapel.

'Well you're an eye doctor aren't you'

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Wine-tasting Tour.

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"I heard they make glass from sand but I have no idea where to begin."

"Wine is good for you in moderation, so I named my goblet 'Moderation.'"

"Is this some kind of a put-on or what?"

'Ooh, this is an old one. I'll bet it's worth its weight in oil.'

'Why couldn't you wear glasses like everyone else?'

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

'Okay, son...Today, I want you to play soccer at Poolbeg Street, Gloucester Street and East Lombard Street!'

'I admit that we are a progressive order Brother, but when I asked you to update our stained-glass window...'

...And the winner is: Glass Industry!

"Well, Henderson, you were the one who thought we should give him a free hand."

Building a Church.

"Don't be silly, Semira...who would make fun of such cute glasses?"

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

'Here, if you don't do windows, you're through!'

'Boy, they don't miss a thing, do they?'