Stage Whiz Gifts

"I've got it! If we don't send Stanley Kauffman any tickets, maybe he won't come!"

Mario Caravadossi hides Angelotti

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Group Think Time

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'My dog ate my computer.'

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

I've always been slower than computers...

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"What's that you're reading?"

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.