Stage Whiz Gifts

Mario Caravadossi hides Angelotti

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'My dog ate my computer.'

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"What's that you're reading?"

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

I've always been slower than computers...

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

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