Stage Survivor T-Shirts

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Evil Exams!

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

Woman crying with happiness.

Stephen Fry

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Mensa Does Improv

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

Waving from Behind the Curtain

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Dieting Motivation.

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'I'm a star!'

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

E=Emcee Squared

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

'We had to donwsize.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Performance In The Bedroom