Stage Storyteller Gifts

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"In a minor role, but giving a highly charged performance. . ."

Theatre masks

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

John James Heidegger, masquerade impresario, and Italian opera singers

"Congratulations on opening night."

'The guy before me was so bad the audience were still booing all the time I was on!'

Comedian is hook-rescued from angry audience.

Sailor boy

Parsifal

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Edgar Allen Poe

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'